10 August 2024 JUST WHAT TO DO by Kyle Lukoff and Hala Tahboub, ill., Penguin Random House/Dial, July 2024, 40p., ISBN: 978-0-593-46294-2

“A new study published today suggests that how empathic we are is not just a result of our upbringing and experience but also partly a result of our genes.

Empathy has two parts: the ability to recognize another person's thoughts and feelings, and the ability to respond with an appropriate emotion to someone else's thoughts and feelings. The first part is called 'cognitive empathy' and the second part 'affective empathy'.

Fifteen years ago, a team of scientists at the University of Cambridge developed the Empathy Quotient (EQ), a brief self-report measure of empathy. The EQ measures both parts of empathy.

Previous research showed that some of us are more empathetic than others, and that on average, women are slightly more empathetic than men. It also showed that, on average, autistic people score lower on the EQ, and that this was because they struggle with cognitive empathy, even though their affective empathy may be intact..”

– “Genes play a role in empathy” Science Daily (2018)

“You just call out my name

And you know, wherever I am

I'll come runnin'

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend”

– Carole King (1971)

“When my brother’s cactus died, I knew just what to do.”

[The main character is depicted presenting a card with a drawing of a cactus and hearts to her brother.]

“But that wasn’t what he wanted. ‘Could you tell me a joke instead? I really want to laugh.’

So when my cousin’s goldfish died, I knew just what to do.”

[The main character is depicted reaching up to a shelf in the library, pulling out a joke book.]

“But that wasn’t what she wanted. ‘Please give me a hug?’

So when my teacher’s hamster died, I knew just what to do…”

JUST WHAT TO DO is a fun read and a wonderful resource that models empathic behavior. The main character repeatedly tries to guess just what to do when a friend, an adult, or a family member has suffered a loss. 

What we learn from her experiences is that everyone has his or her own ways of grieving. We cannot possibly anticipate what specific action the grieving person would prefer. But what we come to understand is that the most important thing to do, when someone is saddened over a loss, is to be a friend, to show up, to be there in these times of sadness, and be receptive to their respective healing needs. This valuable lesson, combined with Hala Tahboub’s whimsical digital illustrations, make this a must-have for those serving preschoolers and younger elementary students.

While some may have the empathy gene(s), the rest of us will benefit tremendously from exposure to this psychology-related gem for young audiences.

Richie Partington, MLIS

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