2 February 2005 SHELF LIFE by Robert Corbet, Walker & Co., March 2005, ISBN: 0-8027-8959-5

" 'Price check on register three. Price check on register three.' "

Okay, who remembers Plaid Stamps?

My earliest, late-Fifties memories of "the supermarket" involve the A&P in Plainview. I recall my fascination over the live lobsters in the fish tank, the strong smell around the coffee bean grinder, and the top end of that mysterious conveyer belt between two aisles that led up from the basement but which I never saw in use.

These days, "the supermarket" for me is the rapidly expanding chain Trader Joe's which is a virtual twenty-first century hippie heaven with their everyday great deals on the private label California brown basmati rice, canola oil, clover honey, sprouted barley bread, frozen strawberries (for smoothies), and cashew pieces they offer, along with the TJ's spaghetti sauces, preserves, peanut butter, juices, and other processed products that are made without sugar or preservatives.

On top of that, they're a pretty jovial crew who work there.

But who ARE the people who work in a supermarket? What are their stories and their secrets?

Let's start with Adam.

Adam's entire life outside of school is the television in his bedroom. But now Adam's dad has forced him to abandon his afterschool shows to go interview for a part-time supermarket position. And Adam--through no fault of his own--has actually been hired.

"The store manager was seated at his desk, as he had been the day before.

" 'Graham Powell,' he said, shaking Adam's hand as if they had never met.

" 'I'm Adam,' said Adam, just to be on the safe side. "Graham spun around in his chair, leaned down, and opened his bottom drawer.

" 'Adam, Adam,' he repeated. 'I've got you in here somewhere.' "There were dozens of name tags in the drawer, but none of them had his name on it. Graham sorted through them all. Then he picked one out and showed it to Adam. It said ANDY.

" 'How about you wear this one until we get yours made up?' " 'But that's not my name,' said Adam.

" 'Not a problem.' Graham sounded slightly annoyed. 'It's mainly for the customers, you realize.'

"Adam took the tag and pinned it to his shirt pocket. It was on an angle, but he didn't care.

" 'Any questions?' asked Graham. 'Any concerns?'

"It was a good opportunity to be rude, crude, stupid, or all three. But before Adam could say anything, Graham stood up and began shaking his hand again.

" 'Welcome aboard,' he said. 'Come and I'll introduce you to the sharks!'

"He led Adam to a smaller room with four desks. There were two men and two women seated at the desks, and Graham introduced Adam to them, one by one: Nicola, the dairy manager; Cameron, the fruit manager; Amanda, the grocery manager; and Scott, the trainee manage, who said, 'How are ya, bud?' as if he actually remembered him. Adam viewed each in turn, like changing channels on TV. Who would he have to offend, he wondered, and how, in order to be dismissed?"

Shortly after beginning his first day on the job Adam hears someone softly crying in the next aisle over. It turns out to be the newly crowned Employee of the Month, a pretty teen checker named Louisa. The reoccurring episodes in the resulting tale of Adam (who forgets all about trying to get himself fired) and Louisa form the nucleus of SHELF LIFE, a brilliant series of interlocking stories about the idiosyncratic collection of characters (And I MEAN characters.) who work in this twenty-four-hour, seven-day-a-week supermarket.

Those employees include Jared, the wild and crazy young man with the chemical imbalance, Rahel, the girl in the meat department who's from a traditional Islamic family, Chloe, the cashier who seems incapable of saying "No" to any man, Stephen, the kid whose reality is inside his Gameboy, Marco, the night watchman, and Gina, who is employed by an agency to go to different supermarkets and serve up free samples.

" 'Weevils?'

"Abdi had never heard the word before.

" 'Big fat ones, in the flour,' said Jared. 'Check it out, homey.'

"Abdi watched doubtfully as Dylan looked into the paper bag that Jared was holding. The label said Self-Rising Flour, 2 lb.

" 'It's a weevil-fest. They're pigging out!'

" 'It's weevil-ution, homey. The survival of the fattest.'

" 'It's the eternal struggle.'

" 'It's Good versus Weevil!'

"Abdi had no idea what the storeroom boys were talking about.

Cautiously, he approached Jared and looked down into the bag."

There is more to each of the characters than meets the eye, and Robert Corbet's funny and revealing SHELF LIFE makes for a thoroughly enjoyable shopping experience.

Check it out.

Richie Partington

http://richiespicks.com

BudNotBuddy@aol.com