8 June 2015 MADE YOU UP by Francesca Zappia, Greenwillow, May 2015, 448p., ISBN: 978-0-06-229012-0

“My medication helps sometimes. I knew it was working when the world wasn't as colorful and interesting as it normally was. Like when I could tell the lobsters in the tank were not bright red. Or when I realized that checking my food for tracers was ridiculous (but did it anyway because it calmed the prickle of paranoia on the back of my neck). I also knew it was working when I couldn't remember things clearly, felt like I hadn't slept in days, and tried to put my shoes on backward.

“Half the time, the doctors weren't even sure what the medicine would do. ‘Well, it should lessen the paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, but we’ll have to wait and see. Oh, and you’ll probably feel tired sometimes. Drink a lot of fluids, too--you can get dehydrated easily. Also, it could cause a lot of fluctuation in your weight. Really, it’s up in the air.’

“The doctors were oodles of help, but I developed my own system for figuring out what was real and what wasn’t. I took pictures. Over time, the real remained in the photo while the hallucinations faded away. I discovered what sorts of things my mind liked to make up. Like billboards whose occupants wore gas masks and reminded passersby that poison gas from Hitler’s Nazi Germany was still a very real threat.

“I didn’t have the luxury of taking reality for granted.”

I've just read MADE YOU UP for the second time.  I’d fallen in love with Alex and Miles and was not yet ready to let them go. And discovering all the foreshadowing that I'd initially missed made the second read even better than the first.

MADE YOU UP is the story of teen paranoid schizophrenic Alexandra Ridgemont. Author Francesca Zappia seems to have done a great deal of research about mental illness in preparation for writing this intriguing and provocative book. A stunning adolescent survival story and love story, MADE YOU UP enlightens us and fosters empathy toward the mentally ill. I strongly believe that it should be recognized by the current Schneider Family Award committee.

“‘Let me out’ said the lobster.”

A story told in the first person by a paranoid schizophrenic teen offers quite a reading adventure! Its protagonist is the ultimate unreliable narrator: a character who frequently sees and hears things that turn out to be hallucinations, so you never know what to believe. Some things seem obvious; others are not. From the start, readers know that Alex can’t distinguish reality from hallucinations. Nevertheless, there are numerous "Wow!" moments, when you discover that something that Alex narrated (and that you took to be true) was really a hallucination. At these times, as a reader, it feels like the sidewalk has fallen out from beneath your feet. I imagine that this may well be how it feels to someone actually dealing with this illness.

Thanks to her illness, and the illness-related incident that got her booted out of her previous high school, Alex is beginning her senior year as the new kid at a different school.

Alex meets Miles on the first day of the school year and recognizes his distinctive blue eyes. Could he really be the same boy that she’s spent years believing was part of a childhood hallucination? Amid some bizarre and disturbing incidents at school, along with tough situations at their respective homes, Alex and Miles gradually come to know and rely upon one another. This makes for a sweet and fun boy-girl story.

But given that the medication does not always work effectively even when Alex takes it when she’s supposed to, that her coping mechanism of photographing possible hallucinations is far from fool-proof, and that there are predators at school who want to take her down, MADE YOU UP makes for an intense and captivating read. That it so effectively puts readers in Alex’s shoes makes this a notable piece of adolescent literature.

Richie Partington, MLIS

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